Out of the mouths of babes...

WARNING: Debbie Downer Post

Yesterday Heidi said to me, "Mom, why did PaPa fall into the shower door?". After some probing from me, I realized she was talking about the initial day he had his first seizure before the official diagnosis and broke the shower door in the process... Our conversation continued with her asking, "but how come it had to happen on Easter? Easter is a happy day because Jesus rose from the dead and PaPa falling is a sad thing, so now Easter is a sad day and it shouldn't be..."
Wow. Talk about difficult! Its extremely hard to see my child struggle through the understanding that PaPa is going to die, and I'm pretty sure she has a feeling that it is going to be soon. She asked me straight out if he was going to die, and I had to tell her yes. Not having a definite answer to her "When?" was difficult for her... For those not following caringbridge, we got the news this past Wednesday that with chemo, my dad was given 2-3 months, and without: 4 weeks. For now, he isn't willing to stop the chemo. We shall see if that changes in the coming weeks...
I've been fortunate enough not to have to deal with the loss of any of my family members since I was 5 years old. It's an entirely different ball park to be dealing with the loss of a parent and attempting to help your children through their loss as well. We will be heading back to Illinois this weekend for a few days so the kids can be around my dad at least one last time. During that trip, my mom, brother, and I will also be visiting the funeral home and cemetery to try and get things in order. The less my mom has to deal with when he actually passes, the better... Other than seeing my dad again, this is a trip I could do without.